11:22 AM
THE PAST HAS ALL LONG GONE EVEN I CAAN TAKE BACK COS OF DELETING HOW FOLLISH OF MY PAST LIFE.....
AND FOR NOW I WANNA RUN AWAY FOR GOOD WHERE DERRICK AND DICKSON WAKE ME UP FROM MY SLEEP I THINK BUT I WILL BE STILL HERE...
IM QUITE NOT STABLE YET SO I NOT SO FAST REBORN YET!!
BUT IM A;READY PUT MY NEST THERE SO IF U WAN GO CHECK IT OUT.
BTW HAPPY CHRISTMAS! =]
2:39 AM
For that this stupid report theres still a fine of $400 and 6 caning for damage sch property.
7:45 AM
18/10/2009
9:22 PM
always got to mis lead ppl...
11:28 PM
15/10/2009
4:58 AM
today was my happiest day of this week i think...
2:10 AM
12/10/2009
wth see this small hole onli...
Morning went to school. D.M. is taking care of our class. Therefore my hair is long, he had a chat with me because of my hair. He wanted me to give a dead line. So I give a dead line on 19/10/2009 which is on Monday next week but he don’t agree on it. And the D.M. wanted me to get a hair cut done on that day. And was said to wait for me till I get my hair cut done. I denied and told him I won’t be back so don’t need to wait for me. Thanks.
So I went out of the class and went to the other courses to help out on their duty. Because that day was the school open house. And waited till the afternoon lesson whereby the class was taken by the other teacher. The teacher was Mr chong. So I went back to the class around 12am and asked to mark the attendance. But Mr Chong don’t wanted to, because my hair cut wasn’t done yet. And was asked me to leave the class. So I leave the class and stand outside the classroom. I got very fed up and thought the wall opposite the classroom was solid wall. So I kicked it. And before I knew the wall was a fake wall, the wall have a small hole I kick. I got scared and hurried home.
Till 22/10/2009 which is on Thursday, I decided to went to school and face my consequences. And I did. Having a chat with D.M. and Course Manger and my dad. And I accept my mistake of my hair and the wall I kicked.
When the chat was ended I rush to a salon and get a hair cut done and returned to school which needed to check by D.M. as agree to the condition to stay in school.
Im sorry for the things I cause and I will change my attitude. As agree I will come to school everyday and and fulfill my course.
ever felt that your life is near the end?
choose either one path u lose the other...
is just a yes or no to that person.
but a choice i need courage to choose.
the question is "Do u wanna go? " *with the important person u love*
"yes?"
or
"no?"
if no i can go sch...
which trying to pass..
if i fail i wont be able to study anymore and striaght to NS/
but i will lose someone i love who i understand the person much.
which the person didnt know any fuck about me or my situiation is..
all about yourself. and nothing about myself.
i told the person "Yes. don bother to wake me up i meet u at there 12.45 don be late"
the person replied this which u wouldnt expected its say "Yah.. Right.. Ok.. wdv eu say."
So i replied "I wan u to sleep enough onli. IF you still wan wake me up den come wake me up if u think u sleep enough"
the person unexpected-ly replied this " .. Okay. wdv eu say ."
wow..
finally i repied this " you comfirm this is your mood? Its seems i come or don come don make u any happier. been saying i don understands u let me tell you, u wan me to follow where ever u go. I know. And i trying my best. Its seems u don wan me already. Someone is better den me. Den im realli sorry to hold u so tight. Ur wings are hard enough to fly. Go ahead. I don go anywhere le. Not sch not chalet. just wanna say thanks to u that let me know. How it feels to be love. Take care sweet dreams. Think u don bother to read. also. i lazy to tell u all things. Good bye. "
my situation now. is.. i got a warniing letter from sch says im at 49% attendence when im suppose to be at 95% and above..
i went sch but cos of one stupid hair cut i cant go sch.
plus now the chalet is 3days. and was monday to wednesday... which is tmr...
but i last week cos of the stupid dm on thursday, i go ended up kick home.
friday... wanted to go sch but heavily sick cos of thr word "break"
now i decided not to go anyway. not sch not home not chalet.
im just too coward to face the fact.
don ever think of others even if its cos your life..
i learnt a lesson.
no one will pity u.
onli humans are selfish.
think of yourself only and u alone.. onli. no one else.
if not u would be suffering yourself and no one knows.
believe me.. there's not such things as share problem even to "any human"
they will slowly killing your heart off by the words of trust.
when u didnt even know.
till u find out is too late..
show your enemy your kindness means killing yourself.
cant blame anyone but yourself.
is u who ask for it. no one else.
SO PLS THINK OF YOURSELF ONLI. DON BOTHER TO WAIT FOR PPL TO UNDERSTANDS U. EVEN GOD KNOWS NOTHING ABOUT U.
*DON EVER BE LIKE ME IS USELESS, FOOLISH, STUPID.
WHICH I CANT CHANGE AT ALLLLLLL*
wats wrong with the happy reaction.
now 12.30 she offline.. was at home with dad.. but not anymore..
now alone at home...
i told her think watever she like
she wont believe me...
anyway... y try to prove?
don noe...
i haven even finish my lunch wor...
wat ever ask me stay at house.
than now i at house got happy she wanna come over,
she tot i shock and ask me my house got who.
wat the hell.
i believe her that she go friend house. than go church..
wat ever i don wan think negatively...
haha cos i trust her wor...
all thanks to her i can stay at home waiting for recover.
lol or maybe force me at home lol xD
thanks you ddear! i realli don like staying at home and rest...
i wanna be with u...
honestly speaking..
do u know y im shock?
cos after i finish my lunch, i gonna eat my pills to cure my illness..
will make me very tired than i scare when i suddenly fall asleep cos of med-son/ pill
than no one open door for u than u will be late to meet your friends/// how i wish i can be with u together but i scare my illness pass to u also... haiz....
anyway enjoy your days! bibi will be there for u once cured!
Of all things. todays started a great day. Go school as per normal. but than. cos of my hair been kick out of class.. when is just met the teacher.. teacher always wan a dead line. but this time is different..
forget it i had enough of some school classmate and some teacher.
all i can say is sorry to someone i promise.. u ARE right afterall promise are meant to be break..
i gave up everything no more sch.
and dear think u would be very happy le i can fetch you after school like normal le hor?
i wan a teabreak today.
teabreak!!! i had enough of this life
if ever today dear i cant meet u im sorry i need to be alone.
think all u can i think all the negative stuff ba...
i'll be at home if u think im fooling around. sorry i realli wanna be alone.
Im very tired of this.
No more no more...
even i told u don worry be happy. =]
msg u like there's nothing wrong or nothing happen.. and than if today nvr meet u, u think funny.
im realli sorry this is the most i can say. for u to understands or to known.
sorry dear and sorry to someone very important.
i take back wat i said about wonderful life. when i was hidding.. lol xD
Die is a best way to every situtation but i now i still cant
cos there's something i need to live on.
the best and all i can say
finally can be together for such a long time...
wow!!!
i been wanting to say this...
Everytime i hug you,
very comfortable
very peaceful
very wonderful
can fall asleep without knowing it
is like i wanna stay this forever without leaving..
i always very hate something.. about everytime i away from you.
eg. when i need to go home.. everytime we been seperated.
and i soon after i got this fear about your house there the lift.
Your lift is where we been seperated
i realli don like it.. like is been forcing us to part away..
the feeling like i rather die than leaving.. but i keep telling myself that there's still tmr so i hope i everyday can meet u.
everytime that feeling comes i cant stop my tears.
but i think u didnt notice..
cos my hair covered it. lol.. xD
lik wat u said 6 more years.. we can be together forever.. such a long way but i wont give up..
this is ever the very important thing i wanna say but i don know how to explain.
is that u may feel im very stupid. is i could just giving up my life for someone.
i already got once of giving up my life but god don me to die easily...
thats when i know my life is hard...
but i realli hope we can be together forever.
even though ppl don believe it.
hope u can love me like i love u.
I got something that i think you should know.
From today onwards i gonna cherish my precious time with you.
Hope u cherish too..
Cos i gonna miss u much from today onwards.
Cos my school time has change to 8am to 5pm everyday except tuesday.
I hope you can bear with me this 6 weeks.
My attendence is already the lowest le.
That means i cant pon le... =(
But i still wanna be together with you on the chalet.
I think i cant fetch you everyday like i always wanted.
But i will come your house after my sch finish and go home change.
This is the best i could do sorry dear.... >.< T_T
Im sorry i cant be there for u le due to the stupid sch.
But when sch finish i will be there for u again thats is all i can do.
So i very cherish the days i spend with u till now....
Dear i don noe why am i think like this but can u realli bear with me onli for this 6 weeks?
say or read like very short but in reality is quite long... T_T
Im stuck with this.
Dear i hope u red this, you don sad k?
I nvr give up on you....
But im realli scare u give up on me although you promise me already but this 6 weeks cant go together like we used to be...
I was writing on my phone wanting to send you but i don know should i send a not... sorry dear...
so i transfer it here.. i very scare u sad and left me..... *_*
im sorry i cant change the fact i cant pon sch le... sorry....
This feeling is like dying, which i should not let u know.
Cos i promise i'll be quiet. T_T
Sorry for not telling u cos i love u too much le...
Think that u don like to hear that im worry about you im sorry...
During holiday i wont worry much cos i anytime can be there to protect u but now is different...
Sorry but from now on i cant stop worry about u le... sorrryyy!!!!
Worry u kana bully... *_*
Dear all i can do is to pray that hoping u are safe...
Sorry i cant stop worry about u.
Cos the recent past u had.
Im very sorry to keep telling you that im worry about it when u don like it.
SORRY>>>...I don noe why.
Im cant stop telling this so im sorry DEAR...
4pm just finish sch i was very happy cos i can rush home change and go see u but god bad sia... it rain heavily.
But i still don care and just run through the rain cos i miss u lot...
Iwonder where you are right now is it rainning heavily?
Hope you are Fine...
4.29pm bus reach..
haha whole body very wet.. lol xD
Just hoping u are fine.
Cos u suddenly wan back the knife which i got worry.
Dear did anything happen? I wonder.
Im very sorry to said so much to you but i love u.
So the same i didnt send u this msg... but to transfer it here..
Just realli hope u are fine and safe.
DEAR I MIS YOU LOT LOT LOT!!!!!! =\